How to Avoid Those Who Suck the Life out of Your Development!
And yes, it may include wearing Garlic!
Let me preface this article of self-improvement by telling you that if you venture down the path of seeking knowledge of self then prepare yourself.
You may be thinking, what do I need to be prepared for? Well, any intrepid investigator looking for self-awareness will meet energies along the way that will try to subvert your path to enlightenment.
“But they don’t mention this in videos to do with reaching higher consciousness.”, I hear you say with an undertone of discontent.
The truth is, a major part of the self-awareness is finding out what adversities you can tolerate.
Take for instance the biblical scripture where it says:
“God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.”
This may be open to interpretation but if you look closely at this statement, its more about the connection to your faith than it is about God giving you more problems.
What we must come to realise is that you can handle much more than you give yourself credit for. When you trust the power within you, nothing can dilute your spiritual connection when facing anything.
Be aware that when we resonate on higher frequencies, other energies test that power and surround us like sharks waiting for a sign to attack.
I’m being honest about your spiritual journey in that, if there are frequencies that allow you to reach higher levels of spiritual consciousness, then there must be frequencies that do the opposite.
Let’s look a little deeper, shall we?
Bespoke Hatred
Throughout my life, I’ve had many situations where someone was jealous of me. Now before you call me conceited or expect there to be an exhaustive list of my achievements, alas you are mistaken.
All I can tell you is that in one form or another, I have been among people that I thought were my friends, but they had ulterior motives to be around me.
Let me give you an example.
I have always liked tailor-made suits. I don’t mean suits that were bought from just any shop to make me look professional, I mean suits that made people look twice at me in the street. The kind of suits I wore was bespoke and crated by the finest elves.
Everything complemented the unique material inside the lining of the suit. I even had a tie and pocket square that I made sure enhanced the visual experience.
My suits had refinery and the jackets were altered enough to show that this was no ordinary street attire. People, especially men would ask where I got my style from and would compliment me on my mix and matching of themes.
I especially loved the sleeves of my jackets which was made to showcase the mother of pearl cufflinks that I also wore.
Wait, I know what you are thinking. Why is a spiritual person like me talking about material things and what does it have to do with self-improvement?
It has everything to do with it.
You see, I felt good in my suits. It gave me a sense of belonging. There was certainty in my stride with a pinch of swagger when I walked down the street.
No imposter syndrome found here, I knew that I felt every bit dressed up and proud of myself solely because I loved the way the suit fitted my personality.
You guessed it, I’m a confessed show off, a peacock if you will, and I know it.
Why do I sound like the character Foghorn Leghorn?
Anyway, demonstrating style was my thing.
I loved my style so much that I wished that I could wear zoot suits and have winged tip shoes and do the jitterbug dance. I watched everything I could from the 1920’s movies because my favourite art period was ‘art deco’ design. I remember looking at everything to do with the styles of the 1920s and ’30s and being in awe of a time where people seemed to embody style and sophistication.
They even made smoking look cool.
I never held a cigarette or smoked anything in my life and never will, the only thing smoked in me is Salmon, but the roaring ’20s made smoking chic and looked like it was just for the in-crowd.
Cultural Fit
I only thought about this while writing this article, but that the number one reason I liked wearing suits is that it represented a culture of feeling proud. To best illustrate this, my grandfather was a tailor in Jamaica who made suits for the locals in his neighbourhood. It was because of his trade, how he got the name ‘Tailor’.
I really respected my grandfather. I loved his era where you would find everyday clothing was wearing suits and a complimentary hat. In my Caribbean culture, we call it wearing “good clothes” which my grandfather wore all the time.
Then again, most men of that time period wore suits like him, especially when they travelled.
I remember seeing old footage of men coming off the boat called the Windrush which docked in Portsmouth, England for the first time from the Caribbean.
You didn’t see men in grass skirts with spears, oh’ trust me that was the perception at the time, or naked people with nothing but a smile and a loincloth to hide their dignity, you saw men in suits.
Handmade suits is a lasting image in my mind of how my grandfather was dressed every single day.
Jealous Factor
So anyway, I knew jealous people existed but then one day it happened. I didn’t want to claim that it was unthinkable, but I also didn’t want it to be true either.
A friend at work who had commented on how much he liked my suits said.
“You wanna know something, you are making us look bad!”
I was shocked because he wasn’t smiling, no grin, just a look of frustration on his face.
Next, he told me to “stop showing off.” My jaw dropped as my first thought was, “who was I making look bad?
Then another work colleague told me that she had a conversation with him and thought that he was jealous of me and had been for some time.
I felt like someone had punched me in the gut upon hearing this because there was no reason for him to feel that way.
I thought that I was making a new friend in him as I could count on one hand the number of people I considered close to me. To tell the truth, I could use two fingers to count the number of people that were true friends. I knew at least a hundred people that I associated with back then, but friends were few.
The news was a lot to digest because we were friends and it was it also my birthday.
That night I went home and sat on my bed in a reflective mood, as you do, otherwise known as being completely miserable, realising you are one year closer to death’s door.
As I sat on my bed eating birthday cake, I asked myself,
“What is my life about and why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?”
Yes, its happened before. I was thinking should I take some responsibility for this.
It was then that I realised that toxic people existed in my life and it was time to seek intervention.
I started to research toxic people and how to recognise and avoid them. It became clear to me these people and their energies offer nothing productive. Their only motive is to bring us down. One study from Elaine Hatfield co-author of the 1994 book Emotional Contagion suggests that,
“When we are talking to someone who is depressed it may make us feel depressed.”
Why people seek to have their emotions and perceptions mirrored is a great study. However, not choosing wisely the kind of person we should associate with, has some inevitable drawbacks.
I eventually left that job, but it got me thinking about people who feed off of low frequencies. I started to live a more purpose-filled life when I recognised how to move away from toxic people and their intentions.
When you apply these seven applications below they act like kryptonite or in this case garlic to these blood-sucking energies.
Vampires of Consciousness
People that demand your time, think that you have nothing going on and nothing better to do. They watch you so they can monitor your behaviour in the hope that you are not progressing further than them.
They hate it when you are feeling productive.
They can appear happy, even cheering for you, when in fact they are involving themselves in your business so they can observe you better.
They suck the life out of any indication that you want to elevate your consciousness to resonate on a higher frequency.
They usually invite you in backstabbing other people and talk excessively about judging someone else.
Shhh! It Will Help!
Living in a world that likes to be transparent about its activities can have great rewards. However, advertising what you are doing can have the reverse effect. Yes, I know you are not bragging, but toxic people love to know what your plans are. They also love to know about your relationships and even your financial situation.
When they learn more about you and your interests, they have greater reason to attach themselves and attempt to pull you down.
Think, crabs in a barrel.
Get creative by not always being available for them.
If you mention that you are busy without saying much about it, they will get the picture.
Protect Yourself
I don’t mean carry a weapon of any kind; I’m referring to seeking things that assist your connection to your higher self.
Be particularly mindful that toxic people want to win you over. They may give you something to eat or to put in your home, like a statue or item of clothing.
If you choose to accept it then be sure to concentrate on your higher intentions to cleanse it. Some people have prayers, amulets, mantras that do just fine. Others use smudge sticks, like white sage or crystals to cleanse themselves and their homes also.
Prepare your journey to connect with your higher self as if you were going on a road trip.
Toxic energies will appear to be interested in this just to get close to you. Remind them that this is your journey which you would like to entertain alone.
Never Add to Their Ego
Once you understand that toxic people are not only good at being toxic, they feed off any vibration that is counterproductive. They are prepared for low-level thinking and confrontation. For this reason, never fuel their ambition to engage in an argument.
They love to disagree with you.
Don’t spend as much time with toxic energies. Don’t call them as often and avoid places that they frequent.
A Problem Shared
Be aware of who you tell your problems to.
Some people can be sympathetic and be supportive of you. That’s not the case with toxic people because they like to know when you are at your weakest. It validates their power over you and proves what they are doing is working.
If you allow them to occupy your time, they get comfortable in creating an ally out of you.
The more you seek self-awareness the less they will be interested in you. When you focus more on your spiritual journey to raise your consciousness, toxic people tend to move on to the next person that they see as a companion.
The phrase ‘Misery loves company’ was possibly created because of people like these.
The Gossip Fence
Who doesn’t like a good gossip? There has to be a distinction between a person who wants a simple chat and those inviting us to talk about others. Toxic people can act like the friendliest person in the room, but that’s because they are in everyone else’s business also. Be aware of how much time is spent talking with people that like to judge others.
Set boundaries of your conversations with friends and family members who like to speak non-productively.
What can be a quick chat and simple observation about others can lead to the problems of gossiping.
Just remember if you engage in gossip, be aware that the person talking to us, is probably the one talking about us.
Cutting The Cord
Finally, the greatest thing that you can do to remove yourself from these toxic energies, is to choose to love them from a distance. It’s not easy to stop talking to friends or family members completely, but recognise that they are on their journey of life just like you are.
The only difference is that your path in life is probably better explored without constant contact.
You must cut the connecting cord, particularly with those that have nothing to offer in the way of support.
Sit quietly by yourself and visualise all those people, places and events that you see as toxic. Imagine a giant pair of scissors cutting away at the connection between you.
Then visualise them floating off into the distance just far enough for you to see them, but having no significance to you at all.
My Final View
I felt a greater sense of self-worth when I consciously chose who I spent my time with. I realised that toxic people, places and events were the result of painful experiences that I didn’t want a connection with or to revisit.
If you meander through life without any sort of direction, then you open yourself to other people shutting you down.
Remember mantras said with the best intentions work, burning sage and other infusions also do wonders.
Learn to love yourself or at least appreciate the journey. Toxic energies don’t want to know that you are seeking happiness or spiritual enlightenment.
It’s your right to be universally prosperous and it’s time to syphon out false friends, smiles and guides that sway you from knowing your higher self.
You should welcome the fact that you’re becoming more spiritual, that’s why you are aware of these energies.
Toxic energies exist as the polar opposite to you seeking consciousness. This is the path of real self-awareness. The time it takes to add up the number of toxic energies around you, you might have to count the Dracula’s that prevent you from seeing the daylight.
All together now, I vont to drink your blood, Blaaaaaah!
